


Who knew gang members were this friendly? Ranboo didn't

by justpressX



Series: Sneaky Bois Inc., the mafia au that no one asked for [5]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Everyone fights over a remote because that is totally normal, Gen, If I messed up please tell me, Ranboo needed more (specifically non-angst) fics please, They/Them Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), not that much Mafia AU anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:08:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28955478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justpressX/pseuds/justpressX
Summary: Well, once Ranboo had met some of the others, there was no going back. And after a surprisingly relaxed dinner with a few members of the SBI, Ranboo found that he quite liked them.Eventually he and Phil's friendship – if it could be called that – evolved into Ranboo turning up at their doorstep at random times. Phil was always happy to invite him in with the promise of dinner, or lunch, or sometimes even breakfast.Whenever he came over, Ranboo would hang out with them if Phil was busy, be it watching Fundy code and trying to make sense of it, or commenting on Wilbur's latest work, or being Techno's sparring buddy and usually losing terribly.Or: Ranboo meets more of the SBI gang, this time Eret and Fundy
Relationships: Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF) & Everyone
Series: Sneaky Bois Inc., the mafia au that no one asked for [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078781
Comments: 9
Kudos: 196
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	1. Fundy has orange hair ("it's brown!")

**Author's Note:**

> Note: SBI in this context is the 'gang' Sneaky Bois Inc, and not sleepy bois inc; the actual SBI only consists of Wilbur, Phil, Techno, and Tommy

When Ranboo entered the café, his eyes immediately flew to the square table, against the window and pressed to the back of the room. It was empty, devoid of the usual friendly figure Ranboo was used to meet. Confused, he scanned the rest of the café, and that was when he saw them. 

Not just Phil, like he'd come to expect; he was accompanied by the pink-haired man that he knew as The Blade, the brunet who'd tied up his hand, and the stranger that he'd bumped into. 

Phil was quietly reading the menu. The Blade sat stiffly by his side, sipping from a cup of something. The latter two were engaged in a heated conversation.

Looking up and spotting him, Phil waved, pulling out a seat for Ranboo. He walked over and sat down. The two men stopped arguing quickly, the brown-haired one looking a little sheepish. The other, younger one, appeared put out, a faint frown twisting his lips. 

"Hi, Phil! And hello to you three; The Blade, that dude who bandaged my hand, and Orange dude," He said, waving. 

"Orange dude? What the hell, man? My name's Fundy!" Orange dude –sorry, _Fundy_ – exclaimed. He was still wearing his hat, though this time, Ranboo noticed the slender silver ring adorning his finger. He made a mental note to ask about it later.

"And I'm Wilbur," The brown-haired man added, leaning back and taking a bite from his sandwich. He pointed at The Blade. "That nerd's Techno." 

Techno didn't take the bait, only shooting Wilbur a tired glare. "Can't argue with that,"

"Okay; hello, Techno, Wilbur, and Fundy. It's nice to meet you," Ranboo laughed.

"In my defense, Fundy, your hair is orange. Plus it fits you, so…" Ranboo made a vague gesture with his hands. 

"It's _brown!"_ Fundy tugged on his hair indignantly. Sitting up straight, he jabbed a finger at Ranboo lightly. "And what do you mean, 'fits me'?"

Ranboo glanced at his hair. It was definitely orange. 

Shrugging, he decided to ignore it, and explained, "Not in a bad way! Orange, to me, is kind of like, it grabs your attention and it really, well, gets a strong opinion."

Shifting in his seat, Ranboo continued, "I mean, 'draws attention, loud and likeable'? Sounds about right to me," 

Fundy huffed, but begrudgingly agreed. "You're pretty cool too," He conceded.

"I'm sure you mean, 'is a furry'," Wilbur decided that it was a good time to interject. He grinned, leaning over to join the conversation.

"Wait, really?" 

"Wilbur, shut up, man," Fundy groaned and smacked his head on the table. "We literally just met! I'm not– stop spreading your damn lies!"

Ranboo raised an eyebrow at him. Fundy looked up, saw that, and gave a long-suffering sigh, faceplanting into the table and staying there.

"'M not," He mumbled without much conviction. His hat fell into the table, orange curls spilling over his arms. "He's lying,"

"Furry," Wilbur whispered jokingly. A hand snuck out from the mess of orange, clumsily smacking him in the arm. The sunlight glinted on his ring, and Ranboo couldn't help but ask about it this time.

"Hmm? Oh, Dream!" Even without looking at his face, Ranboo could hear the smile in Fundy's voice. Someone out there was loved, very much. Fundy sat up, and sure enough, he was beaming like the sun. 

"He's the best!"

"Dream, huh? Tell me about him," Ranboo offered. "I think I've heard his name before."

"Oh, no, don't," Wilbur gave him a wry smile. "He'll talk for hours and hours."

"No I don't– you know what? I'm not going to argue about that. At least Dream likes me back."

"Ohhhhhhhhh–" Phil laughed appreciatively. Techno slow clapped, setting his cup down. 

"Fight, fight, fight," he joked.

"Wilbur, how does it feel to be rejected by your godson's now-fiancé?" Phil tossed in, cackling. Wilbur looked between them, rolling his eyes. 

"Shut up, that was ages ago!" 

Ranboo couldn't help but start laughing. If what they said was true, then Wilbur had the greatest rejection story he'd ever heard.

"Hey, I've got an idea! Instead of laughing at me–" Wilbur pulled himself to his full height, assuming a fierce expression. It fell apart a millisecond later. "Instead of laughing at me like total assholes, why don't we talk about how Tommy broke the cabinet the other day?" 

Phil laughed, readily accepting the subject change and nudging Techno with his elbow. "Remember when Eret got back and instantly knew it was Tommy?" 

Ranboo grinned at Fundy, who sat next to him. He looked slightly relieved that the spotlight was no longer on him, slouching slightly and watching with interest as Wilbur, Techno, and Phil started swapping tales of Tommy. Ranboo assumed that he was the same Tommy that ate his cookies. 

No, he hadn't forgotten that yet. When the cookies are as good as Phil's, one does not forget their theft in a hurry. 

"They were literally like, 'Hey guys– Oh, was that Tommy's fault? Anyway, I got us some coffee.'" Techno remembered, chuckling.

Ranboo inclined his head at Fundy. "Want to leave these boomers and go chill?" He stage-whispered. 

"And remember when Tommy– hey, I'm 'pretty poggers' too! I'll have you know I passed the 'vibe check' years ago – I graduated 'vibe school' with honours, okay? Believe me or be square-me." Phil broke his sentence off to retort. 

Looking at their horrified expressions, he trembled with the effort of keeping a straight face, eventually giving up and bursting into snickers. 

Fundy looked appalled, and Ranboo shook with laughter at both Phil's horrible attempt at modern slang and Fundy's face, which looked hilarious, in his defense.

"Did I do good?" Phil wheezed. 

"No." Fundy couldn't have looked any more disappointed.


	2. Eret and the Great Remote War (which they did not, in fact, participate in)

Well, once Ranboo had met some of the others, there was no going back. And after a surprisingly relaxed dinner with a few members of the SBI, Ranboo found that he quite liked them.

Eventually he and Phil's friendship – if it could be called that – evolved into Ranboo turning up at their doorstep at random times. Phil was always happy to invite him in with the promise of dinner, or lunch, or sometimes even breakfast. 

Whenever he came over, Ranboo would hang out with them if Phil was busy, be it watching Fundy code and trying to make sense of it, or commenting on Wilbur's latest work, or being Techno's sparring buddy and usually losing terribly.

The atmosphere there could usually be described as 'Phil enables his crazy friends and family', and, seeing as Ranboo happened to fall in that category, he was usually involved in the chaos in some way or another. It was just another part of life with the SBI by that point.

This time, however, even before Ranboo entered – or even opened the door – he could hear the general mayhem in the headquarters amplified by _at least_ a ten. 

In fact, before he could raise his fist to knock on the door, it swung open with the force of a whirlwind. And a whirlwind it was; Techno, obviously in the middle of a spin-kick, brandished a vaguely-sharpened stick at Tommy – who Ranboo had gotten to know better over time – as he pushed Wilbur to the floor. 

Clearly, he hadn't meant to kick open the door, because when Ranboo walked in, surprised but complimenting his strength, Techno froze (and nearly fell to the ground, but rightened himself just in time). 

Wilbur took the opportunity to snake a hand out of his blanket-tangled self and yank Techno down with him. Blinking at Ranboo, he swiped a stray curl out of his face and said, "Hi."

"Hello, nice to see you guys again, but what's going on?" Ranboo stepped to the side to avoid being barrelled into by Tommy as he fled from Fundy, and a girl who Ranboo hadn't seen before chased after the pair. A wide-eyed teenager crouched behind the couch, watching the scene unfold.

Eret gave Ranboo a calm wave from their spot on the top bunk. They seemed completely unaffected, even holding a tub of popcorn in their hands. 

"Hey, Ranboo," They grinned, patting the spot next to them. "Get up here."

Instead of picking his way through what seemed like one of two collapsed pillow forts and an assortment of throw pillows that have definitely been thrown while a group of highly dangerous individuals clashed with each other, Ranboo closed his eyes and concentrated.

The world became coated in purple, shimmering and wavering slightly. Ranboo took a deep breath and stepped forwards. Instantly, he felt the world shift, rippling as he moved through the air. 

He walked straight through the mess on the floor, everything frozen in place. Clambering onto the bunk bed, he crossed his legs and sat down. Already, his control was fading, the violet sheen over his sight flickering and the air draining out of his lungs. He exhaled and let his focus drop. 

Eret stared at him with a dumbstruck expression when they unfroze. Ranboo was aware of the twinkling particles surrounding him; he couldn't get rid of them, unconventional as his 'teleporting' was, but he had no idea what was making Eret act weird. 

He said as much to them, but all they did was shake their head, as if to clear their mind, and deflected, "Did they tell you how this started?"

Ranboo accepted the subject change, albeit reluctantly. "Nope. What happened– wait, let me guess, Tommy?"

"Well, you're kinda right," Eret laughed. "Phil went out for groceries, and it, uh, you know,"

Ranboo watched as Fundy tackled Tommy to the ground, snatching a remote control out of his grasp. Not that it mattered much; what silver of screen not covered by patchwork blankets was currently scrolling through several news headlines. As it was, however, Fundy screeched triumphantly and high-fived the teenager that had been behind the couch. 

Wilbur and Techno were wrestling on the ground, getting increasingly ensnared in the blankets littering the floor. 

Ranboo raised an eyebrow, turning to Eret. "…They're fighting over a remote control?" He asked.

"Initially, it was over who got the fluffy blanket, but now it's about the remote control, I think." They shrugged, leaning over to get a better view. "They keep asking me to join them but I have no idea who's on what team."

Ranboo nodded; the skirmish had seemed uncoordinated and wild at first, and it was. The only thing that changed after he had looked at the fighting more closely was the discovery that Techno's hair had gotten longer. 

As if on cue, Wilbur yelled, head sticking out of what looked like a burrito, "Eret! Come join the Anteater-eaters!"

"Don't!" Fundy interrupted, twisting Tommy's hand behind his back. "He doesn't want us to watch National Geographic!"

"I am above the conflicts of this mortal realm." Eret replied calmly. 

"That's my line." Techno drawled. The contrast of his calm, deadpan voice and the wild tangle of pink hair that had escaped its braid long before made Ranboo giggle slightly. 

"Yeah! Don't steal Techno's lines, he spends ages lying awake at night thinking of them!" Wilbur added, causing Eret to snort.

"Sure, says Mr. 'it was never meant to be'," They joked, not really meaning it. Wilbur gave an affronted scoff and returned to sprinting after Fundy, screaming for Niki to come help him, damnit. 

The girl, presumably Niki, hurried over to help, untangling the blanket that was still wound around Wilbur's leg as he grabbed Fundy by the arm. 

Ranboo sighed happily and rested his head on his elbows. He wondered how Phil would react when he returned. 

Eret chuckled and patted his shoulder. "So, Ranboo, huh? Never seen you around before,"

Somehow, Ranboo was sure he would like Eret a lot. 

Fundy shrieked and fell from the couch, remote clattering across the floor. With a graceful leap, Eret darted down and plucked it up. As the others scrambled to get it back, they climbed back up to Ranboo's side. 

"Your pick." They grinned. "Newcomers get privileges."

Ranboo definitely liked them a lot. Especially after the two of them forced the rest to watch Barbie until Phil came back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shameless plug but I write other stuff other than this au too


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